it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
