its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize