Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
