Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
