You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
