she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
