sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
