That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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