Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
