You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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