ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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