haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
