When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
