So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
