you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
