Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
