she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
