i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
