I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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