were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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