i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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