Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
