Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I love having hate sex.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
