Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
