The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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