Pants 0. Shit 1.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
