i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
birth control should be required to get into college
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
