I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
