once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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