I wish my penis had an off switch
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
