Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
