VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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