We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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