Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
