i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
