I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
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