so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
