Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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