About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
