everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
