I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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