Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize