i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Randomize
