This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
