so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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