what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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