So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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