they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
