butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
