He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize