I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
