New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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