Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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