i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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