What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
