Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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