I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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