we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
