Will you blow on my dice?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
