road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
