I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
