So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I believe in your delicious
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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