I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
