1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
