Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
