i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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